hi-cal_low-fat

a pray from the perfect envy…

Posted in Phrase by Herrilujah on December 26, 2007

why me?
i’m not a genius you see…
i am just somebody who pretend to be one…
everybody love the genius…
i know this is a sin.
i am jelous of them…

the burden…
where should i put them?

the burden from my parents…

the burden from my friends…

if only i could pretend to be stupid, maybe this will never happen..

i don’t know whether i should cry or laugh…

she is perfect… extremely perfect..
she has both a caring family and a rich family…

she needn’t to worry about the money
she spend…
she don’t have to…

her beautiful face attract thousands men…

her body is slim and she is really a genius..

at first no one acknowledge her but she suprise them with her success everyone likes her….

just left me alone in my bedroom, crying in agony..

it is not fair…
it is always not fair…
i can not blame her nor cry in front of her…
i know she is kind, she always kind…
but whom should i blame?

where should i put this envy?
this sin?
it is dark here…

where is my world?

where is the place where i can shine like her??

i need to know…
i …. it’s all begin one day… 

when  all said that she is better than
me….

i got lower score than her.. she did not pass but at least her score is high….

it is fair…it’s my fault…

i swallow all the words and it keep pushing me until i vomit…

it’s hurt.. now my friends become hers…she is the idol… not fair!!!!!!!!! !!
i did not do in the purpose…
i never want to…
i know it is a sin…

i know god will mad at me…

it’s just………… who should i blame?

where i should put this burden??

why??

no one really likes
me….
i know, i can never get that score… even i vomit and sacrifice, there is no use of it… no one can save me… i will always be alone…
they pitied me, looked down on me…

i hate them…

i want to be normal, please let me be
normal…

what should i do?? where should i go?

Hell?
god, i never ask you for more.. i
just… i’m lost, god… may you hear
my words…

                                                                                             Cross_Hell

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